We are leaving on January 22nd! Yes, the tickets are bought and we are on our way. We do need some prayer, however. We bought our tickets on Continental Airlines, and they charge almost $800 to ship pets as cargo! We had asked American Airlines (who charges a reasonable $150 per pet), but not Continental before we bought tickets, and just thought that the $150 per pet was what we would find on other airlines. We are in the process of trying to switch tickets or figure out when my Dad can bring our pets on American and what to do with them in the meantime. Our tickets on Continental are non-refundable, so we are stuck there. Please pray that we can get this figured out. Also, we are selling our stuff, so if you want any decor we have, our bookshelves, china cabinet, queen size mattress, coffee table, mirrors, picture frames, ect, we are selling it. We will be having a sale next Friday, so mark your calender, because if it's not gone by the end of that day, it will be taken to Goodwill.

Moving is stressful.

We leave in a little over a month. I end my job at a place I truly enjoy and say goodbye to the children I love this friday. Today I decorated Christmas cookies with a friend who turns eleven this year, and I remember when he was three. We have no Christmas decorations and are selling all of our wedding presents.

I am at a loss. I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know how to say goodbye. I don't know what I need to do, what I want my goodbyes to look like. I am in a place of grief today. Grief over this life here. Grief over a life I thought I wanted but don't have, and still sometimes think I want. So, I just have that feeling in my chest. You know the one, where things aren't right, and you just feel anxious and overwhelmed and hurting. I hate the hurting. I hate that I need to just sit in it and not numb it out with food or exercise or shopping or reading or whatever. I hate that all I want to do is numb out and go to sleep.

So what do I do? Do I say goodbye, start grieving now, feel sad for a month, on and off, and move? Or do I just pretend it's not happening, get mad when others have emotions about it, and freak out once we move? I am already in a panic about it. God help me. Lord, give me peace to make it through. I know you won't abandon me to my heartache, help me in my unbelief. Lord, I know that where I am is where You have planned for me to be. Again I beg, help me in my unbelief.

      We traveled to Honduras last week and were met with some answered prayers. We spent the first few days looking at schools, looking at houses, visiting old friends, and trying to understand what was going on using our limited Spanish. We also visited church, visited bible study, went to children's church, and attended a soccer game. It seemed like a long trip because things move slowly there, as it is a very calm, slow paced culture. 

      We found a house we like, three bedroom, two bath, garage, large courtyard. It will be about $210 a month, and about $40 for electricity and water. We did not pay a deposit because we will still look. It was a great house, but not ideal for a dog. We need a little yard, or grass at least. Because the school year goes from February through November,  houses will come up for rent pretty soon, and our friends are going to continue to look for us. In the meantime, we can stay in an apartment above our friend (and the pastor of the church we will attend) Arturo's house. We will also need to buy a car. We were initially going to ship our car, but found out recently that it can be a terrible, super expensive endeavor. Our friend Jim has a friend who buys cars in Miami and ships them to Honduras. We can get a used SUV there, using money from selling our cars here.

      The biggest news of all is that we will have jobs! I was offered a teaching position at two christian schools, and JD was offered the chaplain job at one of those schools. We have an offer from one school for a relatively good paycheck (we will still need support) and airline tickets to America at the end of each school year for both of us.We are calling them on Monday night to discuss further what this would entail.  The other school has not cemented their offer. Please pray for wisdom as we decide what school to choose.

      Besides working in a school, we will have other endeavors in the city. We will work with a school for street kids, possibly teaching English there. We will also be working with the youth of the church. This group ranges from age 13 until they are married. We will also minister to the people who inhabit the cities trash dump, bringing food and clothes to them on a regular basis. There are many different opportunities to minister in Danli, and all of our plans are subject to change. Most things are subject to that.

It appears as if we will be moving sometime in January or early February. Please continue to pray for us as this time draws near.

I threw up on the way to work today. I feel fine now, aside from some cramps and such. However, this day at home alloted me time to read my e-mail, which rarely happens.

I found out that a person from my past and his wife are expecting. I don't quite know what to do with this information. He really hurt me, and that wound still aches at times, even now, five years later. I have begged the Lord for deliverance from this pain and hurt, from the anger and the shame, yet it still plagues me. I am learning to rest in the fact that God is in charge of everything. Nothing surprises Him, nothing happens apart from Him. I also know that He loves me and He does what is best for His children. Lord, I need you now. I need you to hold me, and reassure me that where I am is where I am supposed to be. Freedom.

God is good. God is in charge of everything. Bring freedom, Lord!

 

I saw this today on Post Secret. This does not apply in my life, but I know it does in others. People who fear gluten, or fear meat, or only eat organic. All of that is still disordered eating. True freedom comes when we choose to honor and glorify God in whatever we do. So before you eat something or don't, think about if your heart in the moment is honoring to God.

The ousted president of Honduras, hanging out with Hugo Chavez, and Raul Castro, as in Cuba.

So, the old president of Honduras is a communist fool, the only people who still want him in power are the mafia members and drug lords, because they are paying him off so they can do what they want without risk of arrest. They people of Honduras are glad that he is gone, and the overthrowing was done in a peaceful way. I am very angry at our current administration for supporting the old president and Chavez. Too bad our country elected a socialist fool who supports other communist leaders across the world. If this would have happened a year ago, the United States would have supported Honduras for enacting a constitutional overthrow, and would not tolerate Zelaya trying to return. Please pray for this country. What happens in Honduras in the next few days could really set the tone for how Obama will deal with Hugo Chavez and his plan to take over all of central and south America.