The Big House.

After quite the full summer, we decided to hit the road and enjoy a relaxing week up in Ruidoso at the Big House.  We knew going into it that the supposed 5 hour car trip would take a little bit longer with our travel companion, so we just gave into that and made a day out of it. We stopped to eat and check out my brother's family's new house.

Griff wasn't too impressed with the house because he didn't understand why Jax and his toys weren't there. Next time buddy!  We hit the road again and stopped in Roswell to wander Target and grab a snack. Griff chose a well balanced diet of Target popcorn and Cheetos. Funny enough, he wouldn't let us open them until we made it to the Big House! I couldn't believe his determination. He must get that from me and his looks from his dad :)

We told him he could either nap in the car and play when we get to the Big House, or stay away in the car and nap at the Big House. He instantly put his thumb in his mouth, grabbed his pillow and closed his eyes and was out. I watched him in amazement and realized that our next kid is probably going to never sleep!

Our days at the Big House were lazy, full of good food and fun family time. Griffin Scout got to ride his first pony, Scout.

Please note the shark shorts and mcqueen shirt, both new gifts from Bami from the thrift store. It seems as if he will be a trend setter some day!

Cornerstone Bakery is a must with kids in Ruidoso. They give you dough to play with and Griff was entertained for a full hour. It was almost like we were there by ourselves! Be warned, they are covered in flour after it's over!

We also went putt putting and go karting. Griff definitely had the right strategy for putt putt- hit it once, then pick it up and put it down beside the hole, then hit it in for par. Mulligan as many times as needed ;)

We were actually considering passing on the go karts because of the cost and not totally being sure if he would enjoy it, but a family was ready to go and gave us 4 tickets, which was perfect for us to do two go kart rides.  I don't know why we worried about it either, as G Man loved getting to be a crazy driver!

We finished out our trip by stopping at the waterpark in Brownfield on the way home.  This was really our first family vacation now that G actually knows what's going on. He did great in the car both ways and didn't have any accidents, which now makes us officially potty trained and is the cherry on top to finish out our summer! Ruidoso spoiled us with high's in the mid 70's and rain most days, so it's been extra brutal to come home to 100+ degree days. Cody and I both agree that we wouldn't mind if FBC Ruidoso calls him to be a pastor someday when we're closer to retirement! Thanks to Bamps and Bami for letting us use the Big House and Noni & Boots for letting us crash part of your vacation!

Faithfulness

well hey there blog friends. it's been a long time since anything of much worth has been posted around these parts. there have been things on my heart this past year and a half that haven't been right to share, but i'm feeling that now is the time to start opening up. it's long, but hopefully worth it. i'm hoping to be back more regularly now, though this shouldn't be the only topic I cover. i'm grateful for this space and for you!



Have you had a season where God continues to put a message on your heart? I'm sure if I went back and read past journals and even this blog I would be able to seem the themes that He has given to me to carry me through different seasons.  And even though I'm not out of this season yet, I want to document it before I move on. 

hope. 

faithfulness.

miraculous. 

breaking down walls. 

These are the phrases that keep coming up on our Wednesday and Sunday morning lessons. For the teaching I do with the children, we take a theme to study for the whole month and break it down into different lessons each week. Spring break and bad weather caused our March month to be off, so we were finally ready to start our April lessons, on the last Wednesday night of the month! Our new element for this month is "FAITHFULNESS." [standing firm with God by keeping our promises to Him and others.] 

I hadn't done much prep work before and in some real honesty, I wasn't feeling very faithful Tuesday night. In fact, I wrote something in my prayer journal along the lines of "Why have you abandoned me? Why haven't you answered my prayers yet? Am I not faithful enough? Do I not trust you enough? Do I not love you enough? I feel forgotten God." Not pretty, I know. 

I went to work on Wednesday feeling beaten down.  Unfortunately, that's not reason enough to cancel our services so I set out to get everything ready for that night. I piddled away, planning out games, music, snacks and crafts and all that was left was to finalize the lesson. The Big Idea of of Faithfulness we were looking at was "We can trust God to keep His promises." and our Scripture for the night focused on the Israelites being brought out of Egypt and the land of slavery, yet ending up being backed up against the Red Sea as the Egyptian army chased after them. Typically, our lessons use a scripture to support one idea. For instance, last month we talked about integrity. One week's focus was "integrity is not always an easy choice" and we looked at the story of Shadrach, Mescach and Abednego. This week's lesson was a different style and used portions of scripture to prove a small point about faithfulness. Here's what they are:


 When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, “If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.”  So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea.The Israelites went up out of Egypt ready for battle... By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.  Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people.

[exodus 13: 17-18; 21-22] 

Faithfulness Fact #1 -
God knows where to lead us, and He will lead us to safety and His blessing.

God knew His people weren’t very strong and might decide to return to Egypt if they had to fight another country right away. If we trust God to lead us, we have to trust the direction He takes us. Do you think the Israelites wondered why they were going the "long way?" They grumbled and complained a lot on their journey to the Promise Land, so it's not hard to imagine them doing so from the start. If we say we trust God to keep His promises to us, we can't bail out on His plan as soon as it gets uncomfortable. 

To help the people understand His faithfulness and to see it every day and night, God even had them follow a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. There was never a moment when the Israelites were alone. God made Himself plain to see every step of the way. He is visible to us every day too, if we only slow down long enough to see Him. 



Faithfulness Fact #2 -
God is never surprised by anything that happens to us; He already has prepared a way to help us out. We just have to keep our trust in Him. 

When the king of Egypt was told that the people had fled, Pharaoh and his officials changed their minds about them and said, “What have we done? We have let the Israelites go and have lost their services!” So he had his chariot made ready and took his army with him. He took six hundred of the best chariots, along with all the other chariots of Egypt, with officers over all of them. 
[exodus 14:5-7]

Before long, the Egyptians caught up with the Israelites as they camped by the sea. The 
faith of the Israelites fell to pieces and they became so scared they cried out against
Moses and God. In Exodus 14:11 they asked Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us out here to the desert to die?” They were so upset with Moses and God they even said in Exodus 14:12, “We told you to leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians. It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!”

Even in the middle of all the terror and complaining, one man stood firm and continued to trust in God: Moses! He was God’s chosen leader for the Israelites, the one who had gone before Pharaoh at the time of each plague. Moses had seen the power of God and it had changed him forever. He knew our Big Idea of the Day was the truth. He knew they could trust God to keep His promises.

 Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
[exodus 14:13-14]

Faithfulness Fact #3- 
God will keep his Promises to us in miraculous ways. 

When they made the great choice to trust God, a miracle occurred! At the moment things looked so awful, so hopeless, but then God told Moses to stretch out his staff over the sea. When Moses obeyed, God caused a mighty east wind to turn back the water and make the land beneath dry, so the Israelites could pass over the sea. All night long, the waters were turned back and the Israelites began to cross to the other side. The Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left.

we need to remember we find God’s power when we stand still and trust Him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I don't know what my children got out of the lesson, but I fully believe it was a lesson just for me. we need to remember we find God’s power when we stand still and trust Him.  Standing still and trusting Him is where I begin to struggle. Instead, I'd rather try to control everything in my power and spend my days obsessing if things are going to go in my favor this month. 

Almost a year and a half ago Cody and I decided we were ready for our family to grow again. Even typing that I want to laugh, because we can decide all we want, but that doesn't mean it's actually going to happen. Instead, it feels like we are walking the "long way." And if I think having another baby is to be my "Promised Land," I would make a mighty fine Israelite because I am complaining and grumbling along the way. In fact, God would probably describe me as a whiney toddler right now with the amount of "Why's?" I have thrown His way.  It's a weird place we sit in - we do have a child already so obviously it was possible for us, but yet, it's taking so long to happen it's hard to ignore some of the questions that pop up in my head. 

Here's the question I have the hardest time with: why are you silent God? 

For as much as I've prayed and asked for wisdom and guidance about our family [is it not the right time? is there something wrong with me? are we supposed to see a specialist? are we supposed to be pursuing adoption and that's why we're not getting pregnant?] God is remaining silent.  

I'm thankful that He is at least the strong silent type. Even though He hasn't spoken the right direction to us yet, His presence has still been felt. I know without a doubt that my faith, though sometimes feeling small and weak, is stronger than it would have been right now had I quickly gotten pregnant like I originally planned. I know that God has us on the long way for a reason and He is not surprised by this timing. I do feel like the desire in my heart for more children is a promise that He will someday fulfill and when that day comes, it will be miraculous, maybe even as big as the parting of the Red Sea. 

Sunday during our small group with the youth group we talked about the Battle of Jericho. I imagine they must have felt rather silly trying to take down a mighty wall by WALKING, but they did what the Lord commanded them to do. 13 times they end up walking around the city followed by shouting for the Lord and the walls came tumbling down. Trying unsuccessfully for a baby feels like a wall we will never be able to break down. Would you join me in walking? We would love your prayers as we navigate how to step forward from here.  Please know that I'm also willing to talk in person about this, but if you ask Cody any questions, he might get a little awkward on you! 

Grandma's Chocolate Cake

Griff and I ended up taking a last minute trip to the panhandle last weekend to have a chance to see my grandmother again. She's been in and out of the hospital for several months now and just hasn't been able to get fully well. I am so thankful we ended up going, as she has taken a turn for worse and is being moved into hospice today.  While we wanted her to be comfortable and without pain, you're just never ready to say goodbye.

When I think about my grandmother, I think about:

Cousin's Week
          - hosting all eleven grandkids for a week of fun! my token cousin's week is when I was around 10 years old and when my mom came to pick us up, I bragged that I hadn't brushed my hair all week! (this is back when it was long and thick... it was a rat's nest! no rules at grandma's house though!) we always had matching shirts, made play dough and bubbles, slept in the garage [in the summer, in texas! how did we survive that heat??] and even braved palo duro canyon to camp outdoors! sometimes, when i'm exhausted after a long day with only one toddler, I can't imagine how they had the energy to entertain us all week!

Puppets
          - my grandmother had an amazing puppet ministry. I can't even tell you the countless shows she put on across the state and in Brazil. Lee Greenwood's "I'm Proud To Be An American" is a song that makes me think of my brother and her, because she always did a performance to it. As a young child, having a puppeteer grandmother was basically the equivalence of being related to a celebrity ;)


Games
          -Lots and lots and lots of games! My grandparents loved to play games and I am so grateful that she kept quite the social circle with her games after he passed away. I actually can't tell you the last time I beat her in a game of Wahoo either!


Chocolate Sheet Cake
          - Oh, Grandma's chocolate sheet cake! This will forever go down as my top dessert. It's so perfect.  It doesn't matter how full I am, what time of day it is or the diet I'm on, I can't turn down her chocolate sheet cake. Grandma knows my love for it and up until her health starting failing, every time I came to visit her she had my own 9x9 pan that she was pulling fresh out on the oven.  I am so grateful that almost 7 years ago for a wedding present, I had a family friend that put together a recipe book for me and had family members contribute some of their favorites. I don't have many from Grandma, but she knew what I would want.

Our family would appreciate your prayers right now. Though we are preparing for a lot of grief, I think we'll make her chocolate cake this weekend and celebrate the blessing she is to us!

#BestCampEver

It is heart warming when your son wants to be rocked to sleep because he's missed you the past 7 days and yet so heart breaking because he is so clingy in fear that you're going to leave him again! We just got back from a great week with our high school youth camp. It was such a great week with our students and even though we are so tired, we are so thankful for the time we got to spend with them.

 Here are some of the highlights in pictures:
 
teaching our californian about free refills

 every day ended with a "block party" that had a theme for the night. our group actually did pretty good with getting into each theme night.

we had grannies and grandpas:
 
(how do you work this blasted phone?!)
 neon night:
 
 showing off our dance moves:



there's an app for that:

 
(ok, so we didn't do that great on this one! we were supposed to be ghosts for snap chat, but most of us backed out because the sheets were hot! ha! in case you're not on the up and up with youth, this is what they call the fierce face. we don't get it but we do like to poke fun at them for it!)

 90's night. cody and I rocked some awesome outfits but some how I missed out on a pic. bummer!

 we played some fun games:
 

(in honor of grannie night, cavity helped me put on a diaper then i had to feed her applesauce blind folded. luckily i only spilled some on the diaper!)
 
(trying to stick lifesavers on cassidy's face)
 
(the leap of faith - climbing up an electricity pole and then jumping off in hopes of grabbing the trapeze bar. i'll be honest i tried this one... but i only made it up a couple of steps before climbing back down. this picture doesn't show it, but that pole wobbles like crazy at the top. gives me the willies just thinking about it!)

 

(this would be evan drinking a breakfast suicide drink through a sausage straw. we play a game with our kids called what are the odds, where you throw out a ridiculous challenge (drinking a mix of every drink on the fountain tap, then challengee then gives the odds 1 in a number up to 100 and then tells a number between those odds and tells a friend. the person who offered the challenge guesses a number and if they get it right, the person has to do it, which is how i have this picture. it's a fun way to get your kids interacting with each other and doing silly stuff in the process. such as all of the boys cramming into one bunk)
  

rec games:

and lake time:
 
 (i did actually blob which was scary enough for me and should have been a warning sign that i wouldn't be able to make it through the leap of faith!)

 

and some randoms from the week:



the weather was unbelievably perfect. normally june in texas is 100+ every day. most days at camp it was only 88, which makes a huge difference and all around makes life so much better. we even had a light breeze a few days that required a light jacket!



#crazyhairdontcare #day10ofcamp






our kids had great things to say about the camp and what they learned. we're praying we continue to see the fruits in the coming weeks and months of what all God spoke to them while we were there.

griff had a great week seeing both sets of grandparents while we were at camp, but you can definitely tell he's going to have a detox period to go through now that he's back with mom and dad. here's to a week of resting and relaxing and getting back to our normal!

A Daughter's Dream

I have the sweetest little boy known to man. I am wrapped around his fingers and relish the opportunity to be his mom. I can wrestle, dig in the sand, run races, play horsey, build tall towers, and  do whatever it takes to rock being a boy mom.  He is my world and I am grateful for him every day.
I've always thought I would have a son first. Mostly based off of assumption because I have an older brother and not because of any type of intuition. First comes the son, then a daughter.


And while I love my son fiercely and will be the best boy mom to him and any future sons I have, I'm still hopeful for the daughter.


It feels wrong to admit. Because you're supposed to say you just want a healthy baby...saying you want a specific gender seems selfish.  Sure, the wardrobe options, the bows, the dolls, the tea parties, the pedicures, and the built in shopping buddy would be nice. Throw in tears, some strong will, years of dirty room fights and a non-made bed, and lots of drama just for good measure too.


As selfish as it seems to so boldly declare that I want a daughter when I'm so blessed to already have a son, it's a prayer and a dream I hope the Lord answers for me some day. Because it's more than having a shopping buddy or a mini me to dress up with a  Texas sized bow.  It's about the bandaged knees, staying up late to make a matching dress for the cherished doll, fighting over piano lessons, the ups,  many downs and tears through middle school, secrets shared during shopping trips, the good bye in the college parking lot, the first date that leads to dress shopping and wedding dreams,  creating a home and calling mom for cooking questions, the announcement, the nine month wait, and finally seeing her becoming a mother herself.


It's the day in, day out, little and big moments, phone calls, texts, trips, squabbles and heart felt talks  that life forges a relationship and bond that cannot be broken: when it's no longer just mother and daughter but best friends.  And it's because I've watched my best friend with her best friend that I so boldly and selfishly pray that I will someday have the chance to have a daughter and watch her grow into my best friend.


Happy Mother's Day Mom!  I am so thankful for your friendship in my life and the blessing you are continually to me!

(no question about it though, if I am blessed with a daughter, you can probably guess what she'll look like!) 

Ready. Set. Go!

Snack in hand.

Ready for adventure.

Let's go fly a kite!

Might take Griff a little while to get his technique down, but it was fun none the less! 

Bami's Pumpkin Party

{alternately titled: bami is better than martha stewart!}

thursday morning griff and I loaded up and headed up to the panhandle. we picked up aunt kait and cuz jax on the way and geared up for the pumpkin party fun!

{b & b with the seven great grands. two more arriving 2014!)

bamps and bami have been hosting pumpkin parties for the grands since we were little, but they have grown into something much greater for the great grands! Last year was my first year to join in on the pumpkin party fun and not only did Bami outdo herself with the food and decorations again, Griff loved getting to hang with the big boys! 

{the rats sqeeked. and were sent home with the kids. let's hope griff's doesn't get lost... }

griff man was BUSY! barely any time to sit down and decorate his pumpkin, there was too much to explore! he loved getting to check everything out and chase after the big boys, plus if you look closely at the pictures, you'll see his cheeto face!

{jax man was all about the posing. griff was about undoing mom's decorating job.}

the highlight of the night for griffin had to be bobbing for apples. oh my, he loved it!
after watching barrett try for an apple for a bit, griff showed him how easy it was and was so proud of himself!

{in his defense, barrett did have a little bit of a handicap when it came to bobbing for apples!}

the boy's all earned a dollar for getting an apple out of the tub, but when bami tried to give griff his, he ran off... apparently the apple was prize enough for him! :)

we headed back home on friday so it was definitely a quick trip, but we had a great time seeing all of the cousins and watching griffin play with them. thanks for all of your hard work bami!