Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Dear John..

Dear McDonalds,
Let me first start off with an apology. All of these months I've lived in town and my self-centeredness kept me from noticing the awesomeness that was sitting right in front of me: your play place. Oh, the miles we would have racked up this summer had I only been looking! Since the past cannot be changed, I shall press on and look forward to our future memories.  You might need to make a change before we can become best friends though. When I bring my son in for a quick happy meal and, more importantly, the chance to run off some cabin fever from being cooped up inside while it's -10 degrees outside, I thought it would actually be warm inside.  I'm not expecting to be able to wear shorts, but at least to the point where I can enjoy sitting at my booth, sipping my DDP, reading a book while making sure my child isn't running away without having to sit huddled under his blanket trying to warm up my insides so I don't die from frostbite. Little tip Mickey D's, when you're RUNNING THE AIR CONDITION IN JANUARY, I think we have a problem.  So please, warm up your play place and I'll make sure we're regulars.

Thank you,
A Frostbitten Mom


Dear Tree Trimmer,
Thank you for stopping by to check on us. If you really did stop by and talk to "me" a year ago about trimming my pecan tree so that it will open up and flourish, I'm offended. Because I'm pretty sure the previous owner was at least 25 years older than I am. Now you have me all self conscious about my wrinkles. I will commend you for at least knocking and not ringing the doorbell like my sign asks. But the fact is that you came by at the start of nap time, causing my dog to go crazy, waking up my son and ruining his chance for a good nap today (and mine too), meaning that I cannot use your services. (Unless you offer baby sitting services for the cranky kid you just woke up... if so, then we can talk.)


p.s. - I have a tree trimmer. His name is Cody.


Dear ABC and Dish Network,
Why can't you play nice? ABC, if I went out and got myself some (digital) rabbit ears, wouldn't I be able to watch your shows for free? So why must you try and rip off all of these cable providers by charging more for your services? I just wanted to be a bandwagoner who jumped into to Juan-uary and now, thanks to your greediness, I can't watch it on my TV or on my iPad.  (Your greediness is making me stubborn so I won't support you on my computer, even if I could watch it there.)  So why don't you tone it down a notch and bring ABC back to my TV? Thanks.

Can't we all just be friends?
A Bandwagon Bachelor Fan.


My Beloved Keurig,
I'm sorry if I haven't treated you as well as I should have, offering your normal water instead of the filtered you prefer. I promise to treat you with the utmost love and respect, fill you with the nicest coffees, kept you shiny and clean, if only you'll offer me a full cup of coffee again. Please... please... PLEEEEEAAAASSSSEEEE. My days just aren't the same without you.

Your Forever Coffee Mate


Anyone you need to write to today? Go ahead and share... it will make you feel better!

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